When the Earth shook

Part I

I'm in my room on the fourth floor of the house. Suddenly the chair starts to shake. So does the table. The shaking goes steeply severe. The two bamboo book racks stacked with books start to vibrate and sway. I put my pen down on the table and take reflexively cautious  position. I see the walls vibrating, I feel the floor beneath my feet shaking, and suddenly it becomes hard for me to keep standing. It was then that I realize it's an earthquake.

April 25 quake unleashed landslides, blocked roads. 

When books start to fall in piles from the swaying book racks and when the cupboard standing against the wall suddenly comes down to land on top of my study table, and when I look at the ceiling and see it cracking, I realize it's not an ordinary earthquake.
The tremor grows very severe as I get trapped inside the room and I see the walls cracking, and I know the house is crumbling, but I also know that I no longer have time to run downstairs from the fourth floor. I start to realize that I can be killed. Any second these walls and the pillars may break and the ceiling above me may fall on top of my head. Any second the floor beneath me may fall apart and the whole house may flatten. This can be the last day I am alive. These moments may be the last minutes, or even the last seconds, of my breathing.  
Every vertical furniture in my room has fallen, crushing my phone and calculator and laptop. I hear loud screams and thundering sound waves from the outside. Houses are falling each seconds; people are running for lives and thousands are dying. Something very, very terrible is happening.

As the shaking exceeds forty seconds, I see the walls still standing and ceiling still intact, except for fractures. The shaking has not stopped yet. I stand up and go near the door and put my hand on the handle. Should I open it? What if outside of the room has been already broken? What if I open the door and suddenly the house tilts and I find myself slipping into the ruins? I hold on.

I think of my mom who was in third floor. Where was she when it started vibrating and where is she now? What if she is still inside? Where's dad? Where are my younger brother and younger sister who must have been watching television when it started shaking? Are they alright?
The house has not still crumbled and I've not incurred the slightest of the wounds yet. I must watch out for anything that may fall. Even if the house crumbles, I should survive. I should die this way. I should not die to a disaster. I should not die so unjustly to a mischief of the nature. These thoughts revive my hope for the life.

Some of the quake-induced slides blocked highways.

In about a minute, the vibration became less severe and finally subsided. It was at that moment that I opened the door and got ready to run downstairs.But, no sooner had I opened the door than the shaking resumed. I waited a second and felt that it was not as powerful this time. So I reflexively decided to take chances. So I ran, as fast and carefully as possible. As I was running steps after steps downstairs, the earth continued shaking. For a split second, my mom and my dad and sister and brother saw me and I saw them on the ground. Mom and sister shouted my name and said, "FAST..." In another split second, I realized that my family was in safety. The shaking started to grew again.  Just hold on for ten seconds, you house! I thought. Let me escape and you may fall if you will. Just don't get me trapped in the last second of my safety.
I was on the first floor and I saw a scarily big fault on the courtyard. The house had shaken from the foundation and was just a second or two away from falling. It was very evident. But I didn't stop to think about that fault at the moment. I ran out of the range of the possible fall and finally pushed myself into the crowd of hundreds of people in the field. It was an empty one acre land adjoining to our house. It was not completely safe but way too safer than the house. All the people of the neighborhood had gathered there. I was finally at the company of my family and neighbors. We all had just survived the catastrophe of the century.

Buried in the debris

In front of our house was a seven story house, which was still standing. Our house was standing. The immediate neighborhood seemed unharmed. But we all knew the country had changed forever the minute ago. Every single person in the crowd was shivering. They, like I, were yet to make sense of what had just happened and how they were standing alive there. The trauma was visible on their faces and bodies to most of them.
I was undergoing a completely empty mind. My mind was circling. My mental consciousness was trying to adjust to the experience of a minute ago. What could have happened to the worst? The house could have collapsed and I'd have been squeezed to death, my disfigured corpse lying trapped in the debris. A bulldozer would dig into the debris and arduously discover my dead body squeezed between the concrete. That could have been the end. All my dreams and fantasies, of becoming a millionaire by the age of 30, of travelling around the world by the age of 40, of becoming a great author and speaker and living on to 80 years to see the kids and grandkids grow and marry.... would end with my body being destroyed. I would have entered the most feared gate of all: death. 
But nothing like that happened, at least to me. 
Some of the people who regained their mind and who had their mobile phone on their hands started to make calls. But very few calls were successful. Some others turned FM radio on their phone. Even most of the radios were transmitting nothing. All the staff in the radio must have fled to the safety. People felt isolated. This gave way to the guessing games: what happened to the rest of the country, or the rest of the world. The quake was so powerful and big that everyone there felt as if the whole planet shrugged. It might not just be this the city of Kathmandu or the country of Nepal. It might very well be the entire geographic region of South Asia or Asia or the entire earth.
As minutes passed many rumors began to emerge and spread in that crowd of frightened, and hence psychologically distorted, neighbors: the six-storey building of a school on the neighborhood crumbled. The mall on the roadside has caved in, trapping many people inside. Dharahara, the tower of Nepal, has broken. A seven storey building that housed a church has collapsed. And so on. 

Some people who succeeded in making call to their relatives were relieved. The others whose call was not successful were worried. Some who talked on phone were desperate. Many had begun to gather around a mobile phone in the loudspeaker. The fm radios had started to resume broadcasting. People started to know or guess the Richter scale of the quake. Some were saying it was 8. Others claimed it was 9. Some were even saying it was 10 or 11. Many people had fled leaving the phones behind. 

Deepjyoti School, a six storied structure collapses on Apr 25

About ten minutes had passed when the earth shook again. A powerful aftershock.. People in the crowd screamed. Now, people were talking about how the tremor keeps returning. Some who were about to go back to their house and grab their phones or valuables got heavily deterred by this shock. People anticipated yet another temblor. And in less than another ten minutes, the earth shook yet again. It kept shaking longer this time. The houses were swaying. The birds in the sky were flying directionless. Dogs looked scared. Some barked in fright. People looked pathetic. I was no exception. But I knew I should not lose my composure as had my parents and many elderly people there. 
More rumors spread. The whole downtown Kathmandu is gone. Roads are blocked. The buildings are down everywhere. Thousands have have died already. These rumors made people even more vulnerable. 
I knew lots of things do change when the seemingly and habitually unshakable ground below you stirs and when the very ground and the house that give us safety threaten to kill us. We lose faith in the things that we've always trusted. Our belief system undergoes a paradigm shift. We suddenly become aware of our vulnerability. And a lot more happen. 
But the powerful aftershocks keep returning in every ten to fifteen minutes and I'm yet to figure things out. But I know something in me, in people around me, in society and in the nation has definitely change forever. I know that for sure. 

- Sanjay Kumar Chhetri
For the book "Shaken Earth & Fallen Marine". 
10/26/2015

The images used in the post are the properties of Google.com. The text entry of the post is entirely based on my personal experience, with negligible distortion. 

Devoting 3 hours a day for the book!

I heard some of the celebrities saying that the most useful (or game-changing) courses that they took in college were not their majors but their First Year Seminar courses . When I attended first few FYS classes of professor Jennifer Szabo, I started to understand what those celebrities were talking about. Our FYS was named "The Idea Lab: Affecting Change", and the possibility to turn my life over by the means of this course started to make me desperate. Then when we were required to declare what project we were going to take, I took courage to go for what I wanted to even though I had been scared of the bigness of the project.

According to this table I'm on preparation stage of the project.

My country, Nepal,  recently suffered a massive devastation from the series of earthquakes. The country still needed help to recover. It still does. When I left my family, friends, neighbors and fellow citizens behind in the turmoil of crises in Nepal and came to the secure, well-managed and luxurious setting of the United States, I was gradually developing a subliminal sense of guilt. While I was, and am, enjoying the privileges of abundance and stability in a developed country, my family and friends in Nepal were living with the post traumatic stress disorder in the houses largely weakened by the hundreds of quakes and amid the whole bunch of problems my country is facing. Nearly ten thousands people perished in the quake. Twenty five thousands were injured and some of them are permanently handicapped. Hundreds of thousands of people lost their houses and properties, and of course their family members. There are hundreds of cases where people lost all their family members, their houses, and their properties. They lost their wives and children and fathers and mothers and sisters and brothers and friends. They lost all the tangible reasons to continue to live. On top of that, some even lost their organs and were practically depleted of any motivation or reason to live. There are cases where fifteen year old girls who came to the capital city from their villages in a holiday with the dream to see the city got to the top of the landmark Nepal tower ( Dharahara) and then the earth started to shake; the old tower crumbled and all the dreams and enthusiasm of the adolescence died forever with it. Also, people came from all over the world to rescue the trapped victims and some of them sacrificed their lives to save others. Coincidence was that I had been planning to pursue my abandoned education in the United States sine last year and I arrived here when my country was in the middle of the crisis.

Until last week, I felt stuck. I was puzzled and afraid and overwhelmed.

In the meanwhile, I have long been struggling  to establish myself as a writer. As a student, it was, and is, quite a challenge to write and publish. Somewhere my writing passion had to intersect my primary obligation of the college. I had already debuted as a writer but I was facing various challenges, both practical and intellectual, carrying the writing passion ahead. When I started my formal education in Ramapo College of New Jersey, I was largely uncertain in regards to my writing. Yes, writing had to somehow be the part of my formal college life, or it would be difficult for me to balance.
When I knew that I could take up any idea and make it work for the welfare of others ( community, campus, country, or the world) as the central part of our FYS course, I saw an opportunity in it. What if I wrote a book gathering my reflection and experience of the earthquake? What if I got the book published? What if the book sold well? What if I helped towards the reconstruction of my country with the money I made? What if?

Emotional graph for this challenging project probably looks like this.

What if I did it? What if it really happened? What if I could turn this FYS project requirement into a turning point of my life? What if I convert this cumbersome burden into an opportunity of the lifetime? What if the FYS course became a platform to discover and be initiated in my dream and passion? And more importantly, what if I could really affect change? What if I could build some houses in Nepal for those people who are still living under tattered tents? What if I could help some kids in Nepal to go to school? What if?

This is my debut book! This book always inspires me to do more.

Challenges stood scary. Could I write? Well, I probably could, but could I write well? Could I write well enough to attract tens of thousands of buyers? Then the professor said that she would appreciate the intention and effort of affecting change, the sincerity and diligence of the idea, rather than the end success of the result. This reminded me of the old wisdom of "Give your best and leave the rest". I thought, why worry about the fruits? Fruit is not under my control. However, seeds are with me. What's in my control is planting the seed, and taking care of it till it germinates, and then protecting it against possible harms until it is big enough to protect itself. If I have planted the seed, maintained the temperature, fertilized the soil, watered the sapling, and protect it when it's small and fragile, I can have faith that it will give me fruits. And even if I will not be the one to enjoy its fruits and shades, someone will. And that's the whole idea of the project: affecting change. Which mean, helping others. What mattered to the professor, and to me also, was whether I had genuine intention and idea to affect change or help the system or help the needy. Also what mattered was whether I gave sincere efforts to make the idea work and whether I gave the devotion it deserved.

Finally, I took the project.

And here I am. I feel stuck somehow. I have collected information and archived various sources to aid my writing. Yet I have not started to write formally. In first two weeks, I had not even figured out what type of book I was going to write. Now that I know that the book will be the narrative portrait of the earthquake experiences interweaved as a series of stories, I am yet to start writing toward the manuscript. There've been loads of assignments and tests of other subjects and I have got to take care of lots of other things. Still, I know how important and potentially pivotal this project is for me and I don't want to let this opportunity slip. I will make it happen.

I am probably still in Literature Review phase.

 From today, I have decided to devote three quiet hours in the library for this book every day until I complete the book. I  will switch off the mobile phone and turn off the social media. I will simply write and research and make errors and cut and edit and whatever....for the book. I will read the articles and insights on disaster psychology; I will access some of the media and government archives to learn more about the quake; and I will write a lot. I think three hours a day consistently will make it possible for the first manuscript to be ready within November. If that happens, then I can have december to take care of its publishing part.

[ All the above photos except for that of my book are the properties of www.google.com/images ]

Historic Background Nepal

This is what Nepal usually looked like ( and looks like)......

Taking it seriously

The book that I have dared to write is not necessarily about myself, but the truth is when I give birth to this book, the book is going to give birth to a new me. When I accomplish this project, I'm going to be another me. The process of writing and publishing the book will transform me and I will no longer going to be the same. The bitter truth, however, is that I'm not giving this project the devotion that it deserves. What a great potential this project carries and what an unjustly little share of my attention and mental energy I'm allocating to it.

The reason that I'm being so helplessly in the state of impasse is that I'm so much distorted. My sense of self has been distorted at this point. My daily life is both disoriented and disorganized. Life is at chaos. The universal energy is trying pass a very crucial message to me but I'm not being able to listen to the whisper. I've been disconnected from my essence. My vital life energy is running out. This is the reason great ideas are not springing.

I was in Nepal and I wished to get out of there. That happened. I arrived in the United States. However, I was in a embarrassingly small school having to pay $10,000 in tuition per year and having to live in an overcrowded apartment with stupid mates in Virginia. Then I made efforts to get myself out of there and relocate myself to a better university and better living conditions. That too  happened as I transferred to Ramapo College of New Jersey. However, a fresh set of problems hit as I had to arrange $5000 very urgently. I was in despair resulting from the uncertainty. For now, the money for the first semester is paid out. Then at the recent present, I find myself at the fresh set of challenges: immunization requirement, lack of work on-campus, my inability to adhere to the values of my ideal self, the fact that my past keeps haunting me for whatever the reasons, and finally the anxiety that seems to be so much inherent in me.

While many urgent things tend to pull me apart, I find myself not being composed enough to do the project some favor. I have got to do a whole bunch of things to make sure that this project happens. That ranges from archiving the large database on the earthquake of Nepal and related stories. More importantly, I must reflect and meditate on the message that I want to deliver through my book. The book, while being an engaging narrative of the earthquake must also possess sufficient intellectual complexity and depth.
One reason that I'm showing so much inertia against the project might be the sense of doubt on my own capabilities. Deeply rooted in my psyche might be the question on my ability of writing a book on a topic as vast and serious as the earthquake. Moreover, the doubt over the publication of this book also might be snuffing my zeal on the project. I might not be seeing the underlying obstacle laid by the deeper factors.

However, whatever might be the excuses not to do, I must come up with the reasons to do.
If I get this project done, and if I get my book written and published.....my life will be at once catapulted into the situation when all my financial and psychological crises will be solved. All the conflict I'm embroiled with will vanish into the thin air and I'll be reborn. There are two paths leading to the opposite results: one is of giving in to the excuses of not doing the project; the other is of doing it. I have reasons to it. An enormous potential which has long been looking at me and teasing from a distance will be just unlocked. I will win the respect of myself. Winning the respect of myself is so much important. Being happy really matters. And I won't happy until I make things happen. I should no longer remain miserable. I should rescue myself out of this stupid condition. The only way out is by writing. I can at least get started with this. I must write my way out. I must write my way out.

I still find myself spending lots of time and mental energy in the trivia, which is so unfortunate. I don't understand why I'm letting myself be doomed. This should no longer remain the case.

The conflict in my personality! That's causing a big deal of friction in  my daily life. It's bringing my efficiency down. The reason of the conflict is the awkwardness of situation and of perception I've been placed in. When I should have been pursuing a doctorate degree, when I should have been a famous writer and speaker already, when I should have been rich and sagacious, I still am circling in the trap of the undergraduate degrees, being a half-hearted writer, broke and stupid. My ideal self is shouting at me and I am trying so hard to ignore, which I clearly can't do. 

It's been quite a while I've been stuck in an unfortunate state of worrying about things but not reflecting on the cores of my life. My actions don't seem in agreement with my values. My wisdom seems to have stagnated. I'm moving further every moment to the edge of helplessness. I should rescue myself out of this state immediately.

Whatever happened in life up to this point, happened. I might have done things right, or wrong or whatever. Because of whatever happened or whatever I did up to this point, I am what I am. Successful or failure. Mediocre or exemplary. Somewhere in between. I let go of whatever happened or could have happened in the past. I stop resenting about whatever I did or didn't do in the past. Instead I at this very moment, take mental conviction to take my life at my own command. I won't simply let life happen. I will take charge of it. From this moment. I won't falter after an hour. I will stay firm. And most importantly, I will make this project happen.

Whatever takes for the completion of this project, I will do. I will give my cent percent to make it happen. I am ready to work hard. To descend to the practical ground from the ground of philosophy, I will have to embrace a shift in lifestyle. Can I wake up at 5? For that can I go to bed pretty early? Probably at 11? Can I skip the late night dinner? Yes. I can. I should.
Whatever be the case, I will make it happen.
I will succeed.

Witness the tremor!

Some of the videos of the earthquake in Nepal:

(At central Kathmandu) 

(Comprehensive earthquake coverage) 

(Dharahara tower collapse)

(Clips of terror) 

[Videos derived from The Kathmandu Post ]

Where's my project reached?

I've been going through deep reflections on how my proposed book would be best written. So far I have developed a bold and decisive mindset on carrying out this project despite all the possible challenges I may face. One major challenge facing this project is that this project is the most demanding project of my life and possibly the most rewarding. While English is not a difficult language for me, I'm still not fully competent in its use to deliver a world-class piece of writing. While I shall be taking the support of my American friends and my FYS professor to edit for the linguistic flaws that I am inadvertently going to have, I must be prepared to go extra mile to make sure that my English is not clumsy.

The core of the project is definitely the content of my book. Obviously I don't want to bore my readers with the one-sided story of our suffering. I don't want to appear pathetic in front of them. Instead, I want to present a candid story (or stories) of what great adventures we had because of the shaken earth and how we have shown resilience. The book will not be a report, nor will I make it appear like a scholarly journal. I know it must be a fictional portrait of the earthquake and how people became affected. It'll be a single story made up of interconnected sub-stories. And it will be really engaging and insightful for the readers. It will be something they can entertain while being informed of such a deadly history.

Lots of different ways are developing in my mind. And I know I'll definitely come up with great idea about the content.

(The image above is generated by PosterBurner using the background image from Google Image)

Preparing for the project

Here I stand.....having formally and decidedly announced that I'd be undertaking the project of writing a book titled "Shaken Earth & Fallen Marine". The project is so big, or even burdensome, that sometimes it scares me. My problem, however, is that I can't settle in small play. Even more serious problem with me is that I am very good and innovative and promising during the inception phase of any project but then I start to flicker; I wither. Here lies the present crisis of my life.
This has to change.
While I began this entry by suggesting the imminence and possible challenge facing the project, I have landed on the battlefield. I may feel afraid and decide to flee, which further weakens me and I get slain before I can exit this trap. Therefore, I might rather give my unwavering commitment and efforts for the big cause that I'm working for. Peripheral problems might never stop arising, not only in my life, but in the life of virtually everyone. Thousands of people are being killed in shootings, accidents, bombings, and crimes. I've lived in this earth for almost quarter century now and I've not even suffered a bone fracture! The earthquake as big as 7.9 in Richter Scale left me unscathed. While billions of people right this moment are struggling to have enough food and shelter to survive, I have aplenty. I really have so many things which billions of people in the world only dream about and still I seem to be fearful and unhappy about this all. If I am unhappy and fearful, if I am ungrateful, my suffering will have no end. My problem, also, is that I seem to be too worried about the result while not giving my 100%.
The reason I am talking this all on my Idea Lab blog is because for doing justice to the project and to perform up to my potential, I must first acquire a mindset or psychological condition conducive and efficient for giving my hundred percent to the project.
While I will definitely come up with a manuscript  in a couple of months, more important thing to give the project life is getting it published. Obviously, whether the book gets published is determined by how good I write. If I write a great work the humanity would love to read, then my book will not only publish, it will sell in hundreds of thousands or even millions of copies.

With all these things in mind, let me come to the real point.
How do I get started?
What do I write?
Will it be entirely true stories/story or the fictionalized version of the reality?
What are my sources and resources? How long do I plan to write?
Will it be an anthology of independent stories or several intertwined stories presented as a novel?
What will be the philosophy that I want to deliver to the world via this book?

Well, as discussed in previous entries, I should rather make it a novel with several intertwined stories.
Within a couple of days I have to come up with a unified plot on which I want to expand my book.

[ The video posted above is taken from  Nepal Earthquake 2015 ]

Elevator Pitch Video

This video is a part of our FYS class requirement and it purports to give very short overview of the project I'm working on for "Affecting Change". Give it a look!

Especial thanks to Roman Raut from Nepal for the making of this video.  It can also be viewed on my Youtube Channel: Click Here

My Project brainstorming

I'm at the computer lab of Potter Library of Ramapo College of New Jersey. The days are flying in supersonic pace. I fear I may be left behind.

About the book that I've formally undertaken to write and publish as a project of First Year Seminar  "Idea Lab: Affecting Change" class, I am understanding today that it better be a single story instead of collection of stories. Well, I must cover at least two major events: the earthquake experience and falling of the US marine helicopter. I may also connect the story to Everest avalanche and Langtang destruction. I can connect the issues of human trafficking and sexual abuse during the weeks under tent at the wake of the earthquake (and the aftershocks). The backdrop is the reality, a truth but I can't claim to write an absolutely factual story or stories. I must fictionalize a lot of things to make my book (1) interesting to read (2) and woven in a single thread of happenings.

Various writers have done so. Rakesh Wadhwa's THE DEAL MAKER is a complete fiction but it is written on the backdrop of real Indian socio-politics. It sounds real. Chetan Bhagat's depiction of Ahmedabad earthquake in his novel "Three Mistakes of My Life" is another example. I should also exploit this extraordinary opportunity to create a grand fiction surrounding the recent events in Nepal. It will have several advantages: (1) I don't need to validate the things that I write on the book, which a non-fictional work must do (2) I will have more readers  (3) I can connect the extraordinary events of Nepal into a single thread of story (4) I will end with more creative work of art, thereby receiving higher credits for the book.

I've put on hold other projects ( THE VIRGIN, THE QUEST OF ENLIGHTENMENT, THE BAD MASTER AND THE THIRD WORLD WAR, THE MEMOIR OF A MANIAC) to undertake this new project. I must make this book THE SHAKEN EARTH AND THE FALLEN MARINE a defining step of my writing career.

What about connecting the Maoist Insurgency and Royal Massacre of 2001 also in my fictional story? It'll be such an amusing book of history! Indeed. Of course I need a truly amazing fictional plot to connect all these events....but I understand it'll be worth it.

God, the idea of seriously and practically undertaking this book writing project has spurred and revived a series of other book ideas in my mind: what about the fiction I thought months ago on the life of so-called Don Chari and his lover Khusbu Oli? There can be such a spectacular book to read. I really stand at the point of rocking the world by my books. A lot is happening.

And this FYS project has really inspired me to take writing on my daily life: on my routine. I better integrate writing in every day of my present life if I want to pursue it on the present and yield great results very soon. Being a non-native English writer is not as big a problem as not practicing.
Developing ideas every day bit by bit and honing writing skill bit by bit every day is very important.

I've very thankful and grateful to professor Jennifer Szabo for her approval, support and encouragement towards this.
संजय क्षेत्री
रामपो कलेज अफ न्यु जर्सी
संयुक्त राज्य अमेरिका 

The backdrop of my book!

Widespread destruction by April 25 earthquake and its aftershocks! Houses crumbled everywhere. I was practicing Mathematical Analysis in my study room on the fourth floor of our four-storied house in northern Kathmandu when all of the sudden everything started to shake. The vibration grew with every passing second and before I figured out what was happening, the violent jerking caused the walls of the room to start cracking. The steel cupboard fell; my book racks fell; the loudspeaker fell; pretty much everything vertical fell in the room. The water jar fell and water spilled all over the room. This all happened very quickly and I in the middle of the chaos, I started to understand that it was a massive earthquake: the one I had been seeing in my dreams consistently for ten nights. The house was shaking, swinging and collapsing. Even till then running downstairs had not occurred to my life. I had a hope that I would not die that way. Or that the house would not simply crumble. I thought that walls might fall and the ceiling might crack and the house might be wrecked in the might of a few seconds. When this calculation was going on, I thought the attempt to run three stories down the staircases was not possible. Then I decided: This house is gone. But I should leave......And my mom and sister and brother who were in the third floor.

After 60 seconds of horror, the first strike stopped. The house had cracks but it was still standing. I then quickly ran downstairs. But the shaking was still not completely gone. When I reached the ground floor, I saw huge cracks at the edges of the house on the ground. The house was one or two seconds from collapsing. I saw a huge crowd of traumatized neighbors and my family members on the field adjoining our house. I was the only one left in our house during the whole one minute vibration. 

The earthquake, however, didn't stop there. Aftershocks big and small continued to rock. The radio on people's phones started to broadcast about the devastation. Our landmark tower called Dharahara is gone. Most of our historical buildings are gone. A local school nearby collapsed. And so on. That night, all of us, family members and neighbors slept right on that ground under the open sky without food or water. The earthquake kept rocking. Aftershocks continued. We could not sleep. To make the matte worse, it started to drizzle around the midnight. But we were alive and so thankful. Thousands had perished when we survived. 

When I looked back, our house should not have been standing: given that relatively stronger houses have collapsed. Had it fallen, who knows whether I would see the next sunrise. I could be buried in the debris of my own house. Or my beloved family member would perish. 

But my house didn't crumble. And I was alive even after that deadly earthquake. So many people whom I knew died. My friends died. Some relatives died. 

For more than a month, we slept under the tents on the ground. Our house which used to mean our safe refuge had now turned into the symbol of death. 

On the several days, I was plunged into serious soul-searching about life and its vulnerability and sensibility.

The images (except the second in the column) are the the images available in Google Images. I hold the copyright of none of these but the second one. 

Going Great Now

In order to prepare myself for the extraordinary accomplishments, I should optimize all 24 hours of each day. For that I create a set of rules and schedules to which I vow to stick very strictly from today onward. 

Rule 1: I must go to bed before midnight. 
Rule 2: I must write the assessment of the day in the form of my daily journal entry before I go to bed each night. The journal should be blogged. 
Rule 3: I must wake up at seven every day including the weekends and holidays. 
Rule 4: I must devote half an hour to meditation everyday. 
Rule 5: I must devote half an hour in physical exercise everyday. It can be work out at gym or doing yoga or any stretching exercise or running. 
Rule 6: The following my schedule applicable from today: 

Wake up at 7:00
Shower
To-do list
Spiritual pursuit (meditation, yoga) and slight physical activity 
Breakfast at 9:00
Book projects from 9:30 to 12:00
An hour for swimming and gym.
At 1:00 Lunch.
BA math/English study.
Assignments.
Test preparations
Extra readings.
Dinner time variable according to schedules of classes.
Book projects continued.
Write the daily journal. 
Sleep before midnight. 
P.S. The Speaker's Club to be founded at Ramapo within one month. 

This is very crucial time: choosing whether I win or lose.  Whenever I don’t feel disciplined and energetic enough to stick to it, I’m murdering my own dreams and values. It’s not fair for my ambition and existence to let myself be lenient and mediocre. I am not miscible. I’m assertive. For a long time I underachieved, mostly because I underperformed. Now I should live up to my potentials. Time ( and this life) is totally irreversible. What do I want to grow up like? With the resentment of a defeated man who lost the battle because he didn’t fight good enough? Or with the euphoric feeling of victory and satisfaction for a great life and influence that I will have had?

What I choose to do today, and right this moment, is going to determine my destiny.

The only person I am destined to be is the only person I determined to be. 

Sanjay Chhetri @ Ramapo College of New Jersey, USA. 

Introspecting and Retrospecting....

As of October 2, 2015, It's been more than 90 days in the United States. Even though progress towards my primary goal- that of writing books- has been dismal, I've had very dynamic and progressive time, especially first two months. In those two months, I attended Iglobal University of Annandale, Virginia. That was where my US education began. I lived at a 12th floor apartment in Fairfax. During that two months, I made several friends Nepalese as well as foreigners. The eight guys with whom I shared my apartment, other friends from Iglobal, including foreigners, and some Americans by the pure co-incidence. Katherine of Maryland became a very good friend of mine and I cherish sweet memories with her: especially our first encounter on the fourth of July. We saw the fireworks of the Independence Day sitting next to each other at Inner Harbor of Baltimore. A very pure friendship, not an affair or dating, began. I can't forget the visit of her college (UMBC) library; I had checked out two books "War & Peace" and "Walden" using her card.

My first, virgin experiences with America took place in Virginia. I had my first bank account there, I bought phone and SIM card there, learnt to swipe cards to make payments and to cross the roads. I rode my first ever American bus there. I learnt to do shopping in Walmart and in grocery shops, I drank beer and became truly intoxicated for the first time, and most importantly, I learnt swimming! The unforgettable and refreshing, enlivening memory of swimming in the Circle Towers pool will be cherished forever. I virtually knew nothing when I first went into the pool. In less than 20 days, I started to swim in 10 feet depth area. I learnt to dive a lot more.

Other important things were also occurring. I worked at Iglobal for a month and made over $600: my 20 hr/week on-campus work of tutoring math. I got my Social Security Number. I also learnt to use American metro trains and railway trains. I have fond memories of travelling between Vienna Station to Washington DC in the underground metro and between Baltimore and DC on Marc train and Amtrak trains.
I spent many days at Bina didi's house at Baltimore. It was the closest I came to the two kids: Divya and Brijesh. The two kids now recognize me as their uncle, as their "mama' in Nepali.

And most importantly, I played smart enough to win scholarship at Ramapo. It literally changed my life. I remember how I came from Virginia to New Jersery! From Vienna Station to DC in train and thereafter in Mega bus to New York. The thrill of being in New York for the first time is still fresh in my mind.
Life at Ramapo, which is so different from my preceding months in America, is over a month long now. Progress is a must. I've been attending classes: each of them are fantastic. I'm learning Spanish, studying economics, having psychology class and undertaking a book writing project in FYS "Idea Lab" class.
Presence of Sapana in my life has profound influence in my life. She is truly amazing and I love her. Her love and intimacy is a factor that's keeping my moral high.
Maya aunt also has had great presence in my life. She is my true guardian in America. And of course Nir Uncle.
Life in Ramapo is my dream life. I'm really living a dream life in Ramapo. First ever dorm life experience; great foods, great systems, abundance, sports and recreation, friends and everything here! I feel so lucky to be here.

Now the matter is: how I get the maximum out of my stay at Ramapo?
First prerequisite for this question is how I get the maximum out of each day at Ramapo, especially the remaining time of this semester. Because I don't know what next six months will be like.
The answer is not very illusive. Simply I should micro-manage myself every day and every hour. For example, there shouldn't be any compromise regarding my bed time. I must go to bed prior to the midnight so that I can wake up at seven in the morning. Until I don't adhere with this principle, the rest of my values go into the trash.
Next thing is how I drive away the distractions: from the outside as well as from the within. For this, again, my willpower to yield the best result, instead of yielding to the distractions, should be the formula. If I want to prove to myself that I truly am a genius, I will be able to guard myself against the counterproductive fluctuations.
Then comes the time optimization. I will wake up in the morning at seven if I go to bed before midnight. After waking up, I should not forget to make to-do list and then cleanse my body as well as mind. I eat breakfast, I do meditation, and then I go to gym. Then, I should go to the library to do my writing. I must get time for cultivating my dreams. I have dreams on which I must work. I have plans and ambitions which dearly demand my devotion and time and energy.
I know I won't be able to dig the way out by playing small or fearful. I must write my way out. I must do the things that I love. I must do the things that I am born for. That's writing book. I should grow myself philosophically, mentally, intellectually, and linguistically. That will lead me to financial growth. If I want to really become a multi-millionaire by the age of 30, I must prepare myself to become a great writer. That's how I will stand out; that's how I will make big money.
But money is just a part of my motivation. My motivation is that I should be the vehicle through which the world's wisdom spreads. I don't necessarily care about career. I care about calling. I know my inner calling. I will go for it. From now, from today.

Shaken Earth & Fallen Marine: Idea Starting to Germinate!

I'm starting to understand that my book would rather be a collection of "independent but interrelated" stories. My estimation is that the following stories would be relevant:

(1) When the Earth Shook
    My personal experience of the earthquake and how we as family coped with it. It'll be a first-person narrative.
In this story, I'll not only report what happened when the earthquake hit, I will also share my philosophical, psychological and spiritual reflections on the wake of the quake. As an individual, as a society, and as a nation.

(2) Fallen Marine
   The story of US marine helicopter tragedy. I'll add the spices of conspiracy theories surrounding the crash.

(3) When the Everest crumbled
   The account of the death of 22 people at the Everest base camp when the earthquake triggered a massive avalanche

(4) The Last Trekking of so Many
    The account of devastation in Langtang Valley

(5) But God didn't save them!
     The account of several churches collapsing in the earthquake that killed 500 Christians in Kathmandu alone.

(6) The Death Tower
    The killing of 180 people in the country's landmark tower called Dharahara.

(7) Survival Saga
    Accounts of some of the miraculous survivals and rescues.

Elevator Speech /Elevator pitch (Sample)

My Elevator Pitch

Project title: SHAKEN EARTH & FALLEN MARINE: an awe-striking story of disaster, survival and sacrifice in Nepal

Concept of the video

Estimated play time: 45 sec

Opening of Video: a video clip recording at the moment of the April 25 earthquake that shows the falling of some major buildings in Kathmandu, Nepal

First part: Photos depicting the devastation of the earthquake, rescue efforts, and rehabilitation works at the wake of the April 25 earthquake and subsequent aftershocks. ( About 6-7 seconds)

(Accompanied by Musical background )

Narrative ( on my voice):

On April 25, 2015, a mega- earthquake hit the Himalayan nation of Nepal, my homeland, when I was still there. Hundreds of thousands of houses and precious infrastructures collapsed killing and wounding thousands of people including significant number of foreigners. The whole world showed solidarity and support for rescue, rehabilitation and recovery of the Nepalese people. On May 12, when a major 7.3 Richter scale aftershock rocked the nation killing additional people, a US Marine helicopter devoted in rescue mission disappeared mysteriously. For a week, the helicopter remained untraced. Finally, it was found crashed in a rural location near Nepal-China border. There are several conspiracy theories surrounding this tragedy. Moreover, the avalanche on Mount Everest led to history’s biggest Everest tragedy. The accounts of my own personal experience of the disaster and miraculous survival as well as all the events related to the quake are extraordinary. I want to write and publish a narrative book on the above mentioned backdrop and help the victims of the earthquake with whatever returns/royalty I earn from the book. As the winter is approaching, the people of rural hills of Nepal who lost their houses need immediate help. Even if I can help only a handful of the victims, I’ll take pride in my project.

End note: (in my voice) ..a  book dedicated to the shaken nation, shocked people, and those who sacrificed their own life while helping. I will make it happen!!! I will.